Throw granola, not rice

Berit Preston's mom Krista paired her lace Victorian-necked wedding dress with hiking boots and a whole lotta leg when she got hitched in the the Utah Canyonlands in 1982.
She also swapped out a traditional veil in favor or a white large-brimmed derby hat. Proof that the bridal hat trend was started by moms.

Flower Power Bride

Elsbeth Maxwell's mom Ellen was a drop-dead gorgeous flower child bride. For her, petals of a flower are just nature's hair barrettes. So it's not suprising she made her own dress (possibly out of morning dew and unicorn mane). Let's get a full-length view.

I now pronounce this BRIDAL DAY at MMTSI

This Sunday, November 22nd is my parent's 394th anniversary (plus or minus a few years). When they got hitched in Queens, NY in 1970, my mother wore a snow white angora sweater dress with princess sleeves and pearl buttons down the center which could be conveniently buttoned up in the presence of a rabbi.

Trying on the dress was my second favorite thing to do when my parents left me alone in the apartment as a teenager. (Smoking extra skinny Capri menthols out the bathroom window was probably #1).

The dress is like a warm glove with the cleavage cupping strength of an actual hand. I wish to god I could post a picture but my parents had a friend take their wedding photos to save cash. Said friend was rumored to be stoned or just high on love because he forgot to turn the flash on and managed to capture only one or two pictures-- mostly of my dad's lamb-chop beard. Trust me on this. It's the best wedding dress ever.

A close second are the assortment of killer bridal dresses submitted by readers. So in honor of my parent's anniversary, today is officially My Mom the Bride Day. MAZEL TOV!

*the above photo is a dramatization of my parents wedding. hired models mick and bianca jagger are stand-ins for the real thing. (photo by Express/Getty Images via Judging is For Lovers)

HOT MOMS AND HOT RODS

If there's anything I've learned from this blog, it's that MOMS LOVE THEIR WHEELS. And they look damn good posing next to them. Cars were their accessories-- like a scarf or a pair of earrings-- only with an engine...and 50,000 miles. Let's have a look.


The Mom: Carol Brown
The Year: 1978
Amy Brown submitted this pic of her precious prairie ma with her car, in front of the farm where she lived in Saskatchewan.

******

The Mom: Jane
The Year: 1942
Heather Chastain's grandma poses victoriously on top of her vintage clunker.

******

The Mom: Fannie Mae Perry
The Year: 1962
Remember Rachel Trivette's mom-- with the cowboy and the big hair in the post below? Here she is pre-Rachel, when the only baby she cared about was the one right behind her.

******

The Mom: Marian
The Year: The 70's, duh
Stephanie Degree's sure does love her new car. Look how she works that classic catalog model lunge. So casual. So awesome.

Blazin' Saddles

Time machine, take me to 1983! I'm going to find Rachel Trivette's purdy mother and challenge her to a duel. She has 2 things I'm prepared to go to battle for: That fitted wool blazer and a cowboy to call her own. On second thought, maybe I'll just write a country song about it.

I think a cartoon bird just flew onto my computer screen

Flush your Abilify down the toilet (or give it to that kindly homeless man on your corner) because all you need is this picture to be joy-filled.
My best friend Ryan's mom is not only bursting with natural beauty, she's got some serious Fleetwood Mac style. And that, my friends, is the highest compliment this here blogger can give.

Her choker is giving me ideas: I may just have a 90's party on my neck. If I can find a thick black velvet ribbon from a stationary store, I could pin a cameo broach from my grandmother to the center of it. Kinda like this. P.S. I'm pretty sure you have to be over 18 to look at that velvet choker website-- who knew?

Spotted: a real live Mermom!

This mythological mom was spotted in Chile. The photo of "Magdelana"-- which was not doctored-- was submitted by proud grand-kid Javiera Gajardo.

Seriously, she's pretty fabulous, even with legs

Mom trend alert: plaid pants

This photo was taken in 1963 when Rebekah Cotton's parents were both 21.
My research has shown: It doesn't matter whether it was the 60's, 70's or 80's. Mom's love themselves some plaid pants. And dads love themselves some moms in plaid pants. Just look at the grin on this guy's mug.

Not your father: Celebrity edition

Heidi Everhart sent me this picture of her stunning Ingrid Bergman lookalike mom Margaret W. Everhart, with actor James Garner in Hollywood, circa 1952.
How is it that her mom got to meet up with the old version of Ryan Gosling in "The Notebook"? The right question is how did HE get to meet HER--the lucky bastard. See, she had won "The Most Beautiful Ears In The World" contest, and was flown out to Hollywood to meet with stars and do a photo shoot.
Waa, waa wait, did you say ears? Yes, ears. Take a closer look...

Perfectly shell-shaped and delicately peachy, right?

Now have a look at Mr. Garner's ear.

Not even close.

As if you needed any more proof that mom-jeans are flattering

Enter Bärbel. And a donkey.
Jana Reidenbach writes: "This is my mom in the early 70s while traveling with my dad hippie-style through southern Europe for months on ends. In this photo I think they're somewhere in what once used to be Yugoslavia. At that time I must have been like 2 yrs old, and *hmpf* wasn't invited to come along."

I don't blame her mom. If had to choose between packing a toddler and that denim vest, well, sorry kid.

Just another day at the Daily Planet

When my friend Mary Beth Quirk aka Gingervision became a magazine writer she probably thought her life would resemble this picture of her mom. You know: lots of tapping typewriters, cigar smoke, mod frocks, flashing lightbulbs and guys named Smitty with the scoop, see?
Mrs. Quirk, the adorable 22 year-old Lois Lane knock-off you see before you, lived the dream. The year was 1968, and this was her first job at the Dayton Journal-Herald. East your heart out, Superman.

Not your father: really, none of them

My best friend Jessica Dimmock went hunting for some old photos of her mom, Natasza. She already knew her mother was a heartbreaker, but she didn't know just how many hearts were left in her wake. We're talking genocide.

Victim 1: The Professor (I don't know if he was but he smoked a pipe so it's a safe assumption)


Victim 2: The Big Cahuna (king of the beach here is all up in Jes's mom's grill)

Victim 3: Photo Booth guy (Who does he think he is- the star of a romantic comedy? Try Mr. Wrong who's only in the opening scene)


Victim 4: The lap dancer (I can see straight off the bat why this didn't work out. Homey's a little too needy. Side note: can we bring back the beach turban please?)

The Conquerer: Jes's lucky dad.

How did he do it? Sure he's darn cute himself, plus he's got a werewolf-grade beard and a shirt Andy Gibb would have killed for. BUT LOOK AT HER in her midriff baring blouse and yellow pants. Even the cute blonde chick is smitten.

Where's Robert Reford?

Lynn Tilly writes: "All of these moms lived on my street when I was growing up. Robert Redford was filming a movie in our area and there was an advertisement for extras. They all went down to get in his movie, but the scene ended up on the cutting room floor. Here they are getting their photo taken with Mr. Redford that day and that is my Mom on the far left. I don't know the exact date, but I would guess around 1967-1969."
Calling all cinefiles, we need your help: What movie was he making?

My mom, the bride: the reusable dress

Meet Jana, 22. Although I've no plans to wed in the near future, I'd like to borrow her Jessica McClintock Gunne Saxe dress with lace princess sleeves. And there's a chance she'd lend it me.
I'll let my friend Erin Brown do the 'splaining: "My aunt Joni re-used that wedding dress the next year when she got married. It is still in perfect condition. My Mom married my dad Jon Brown, who was 27 at the time [EDITOR'S NOTE: And clearly a badass] in 1976 in Fairbanks, Alaska on a boat in a park called Alaskaland. They met while working on the pipeline, got married and I popped out about 7 months later. Tricky math!" Tricky indeed.

Evidence of an Icon

EXHIBIT A:

Edith Layton, the celebrated romance novelist, made a career of writing about men falling at the feet of beautiful woman. There is no question she wrote from experience. Lets talk about the bright red velvet lipstick/sleek black hair combination. Rose McGowan, pay attention: this is how it's done.
And don't get me started on the shirt/lamp combination. Woman knows how to pose for a picture.

EXHIBIT B:

Another picture of Ms. Layton --this time in a patchwork skirt that puts my bed-quilt to shame. (You hear that bed-quilt? Don't think your not replaceable. I'm only 2 subway trains from a Target.)

Proud daughter Susie Felber writes: These pics are from the 70's -- she'd already had 3 kids (and she didn't start early) but she's still smokin' (literally too, she did Taryton's which she quit in the 80's).

Read more about Edith's work. Her final novel was published last week. Also read Susie's loving memorial to her mom, who passed away recently.

No animals were hurt in the making of this post

Cactus Sunday (if this is your real name, your mom is even that much cooler) sent in this incredible picture of her mom Noreen with the disclaimer: "The stuffed polar bear was part of an exhibition of my father's friend's stepfather - so no connection to the stuffing & displaying of the poor bear. Notice she still stands out BEING PHOTOGRAPHED WITH A GIANT SNARLING STUFFED POLAR BEAR). I think that in itself speaks volumes for her style." Cactus: You're mom is one badass mother-fucker.


Same goes for you Patricia Stein. Her purdy mom Stephanie posed with a baby tiger in 1984 at a zoo in Bismarck, North Dakota. Unafraid of a little tiger claw action, she wore her shortest Daisy Dukes. She even managed to match her shirt with the wild undomesticated animal's coat. Now that's attention to detail.

Sexy Sadies

One reader submitted this photo of two moms on a one way train to rock city. Their hair bobs are the stuff of my 1960's dreams.

Note: the wall of Beatles behind them. Pay particular attention to which Beatle gets the star placement. That's right, we have discovered the rare breed of Ringo fans.

Not your father: Prom night

This is Jennifer Schmohe's beautiful mom, Donna Avery, in 1966. Really couldn't tell you who that guy is though.

Lucky dad #410

That would be Sandi Gammon's dad Jim. He's kind of adorable-- don't get me wrong. But just look at her: effortlessly working those plaid bell-bottoms and a satchel that once belonged to a lady hobbit. She's the kind of 70's flower child you'd want to marry... twice.

That's right, Sandi's mom Wanda tied the knot with Jim two times and not in the renewing vows sense. Amazing.

It's the right beer now

What were you for Halloween? Kate Gosselin? Sarah Palin? A pretty girl with cat ears in a bra and undies? Weird Al?
Were you a can of Coors? No? Then you lose.

Jennifer Lawson writes: "Here’s my mom, me and my brother ready for Halloween circa 1976. My mom was pretty wild when she was young, so it doesn’t surprise me she showed up at work (as a bank teller) dressed as a beer can."

Take a good look at that fine lady in the human-sized can. That's no store-bought packaged insta-costume. That is some bed-sheet, sharpie and tin-foil shit. And you better believe there's no Drink Responsibly warning on her label.