Not your father: really, none of them

My best friend Jessica Dimmock went hunting for some old photos of her mom, Natasza. She already knew her mother was a heartbreaker, but she didn't know just how many hearts were left in her wake. We're talking genocide.

Victim 1: The Professor (I don't know if he was but he smoked a pipe so it's a safe assumption)


Victim 2: The Big Cahuna (king of the beach here is all up in Jes's mom's grill)

Victim 3: Photo Booth guy (Who does he think he is- the star of a romantic comedy? Try Mr. Wrong who's only in the opening scene)


Victim 4: The lap dancer (I can see straight off the bat why this didn't work out. Homey's a little too needy. Side note: can we bring back the beach turban please?)

The Conquerer: Jes's lucky dad.

How did he do it? Sure he's darn cute himself, plus he's got a werewolf-grade beard and a shirt Andy Gibb would have killed for. BUT LOOK AT HER in her midriff baring blouse and yellow pants. Even the cute blonde chick is smitten.