Friday, February 12, 2010
How to: wear a pantsuit
It's a not an easy thing to pull off. there will be unwanted commentary. "Wow! Is that all one piece?" or "Where the hell did you get that thing" or worse "I hope you don't have to go to the bathroom anytime soon."
These inane statements have lept me from wearing the kind of onesie I so desperately crave. But Katja Peglow's spectacular German mom has provided some hope and instruction by example.
1. Keep it loose. A too tight body suit can lead to cameltoe (er, mrs. posh beckham)
2. Stick with earth tones. They downplay the teenager of the future nature of the design. Anything that shines, is fluorescent or made from old swimsuits is to be set on fire --likely by accident-- at once. (er, David Lee Roth)
3. Don't apologize. Make direct eye contact at anyone, even a camera that appears to assume the question: "is that a pantsuit". It will cut them off at the pass
4. Be over the top. If you're going to do it, do it up. Don't just wear the pantsuit, wear tights, bucks, a belt, a turtleneck, hell gnaw on an apple while you're at it. Point is, own it. Mrs. Peglow: you are a superstar.