Friday, February 19, 2010

TAXI! Take us to 1963 and step on it. We have a wedding to attend!



Today, as I was scrolling through google news I got a glimpse of what the future holds: weddings in Mac stores. Now, I belong to the church of Whatever Floats Your Boat--But the idea of two people proclaiming their love amidst flickering ipod screens and $199 sale signs makes me feel, well, like I want to hail a time machine taxi (see Dolorean above) and take it back to 1963.

That's the year Jenny Moss's Grace Kelly doppelganger mom wed her dad at a church in Wimbledon. Carol was a stunning Londoner who met her groom on the tennis court.

Drunken birthday girls, 2003 era Paris Hilton and sorority sisters: THAT is how you wear a tiara. Look at that dress. She doesn't even have a stitch of skin showing--boatneck collars are usually all risk, no reward-- and she's without a doubt the sexiest woman in the room.
NEXT SLIDE:

Ah yes, the meet and greet. Here the gorgeous Carol, receives congratulations from the world's furriest aunt and does not scare. Look how said aunt(I'm just assuming) took off her own gloves for the handshake. Very classy. And that dapper Mad Men central casting dude in the left hand corner. No doubt he asked to "cut in" on a dance with the bride later that night. (sidebar: when I was a kid, I remember thinking "asking to cut in" was something adults did ALL the time)
SLIDE!:

Tiny goblets! Tiny freaking goblets. I'm gonna take a gander that they don't have those at the Mac store. Either Carol and her groom were relatives of Andre the Giant or they had the grace to drink liquers and hold fragile, preemie glasses without crushing them on their skull. (note: does anyone else have this problem and if so is there a good time we can all meet as a group in the basement of a church and talk about it?) Seriously, now that champagne toasts have been co-opted by reality shows--
the only wedding toast that says forever is one with aperitifs in baby goblets.

3 comments:

Garnet said...

They are so gorgeous! Nowadays I feel like people put off marrying so long (I'll wait until I own my own business, until I can buy a nice house, until the kids are grown, etc.), they're hardly ever attractive in their wedding photos.

They're all like 40 and disillusioned.

Garnet

P.S. This was kind of rude. I didn't mean it to be!

Nicole said...

I kind of wish that I was at a dance where men would "cut-in". Also, I wish I had a tiara. But wishing ain't getting.

Kerry said...

"without crushing them on their skull"

Ahahahaaa! I was not expecting that.